Happy Mortgage Day!

"Shiver me brains!"

Just one year ago, we woke up early and went to a notary. After having to sign almost the equivalent of a short book, the guy said

Congratulations, proud owners of your own home

And then just took a bunch of money and left.

More or less two months later, The BRoCOLi was born.

We would like to write something more regalious or insightful… but we are too much drunk to think about that now, so… Happy Mortgage Day to you all proud owners of your own home! Enjoy your houses and take care with Euribor rises!

Shame on you, Republic of Sealand

Some days ago, the BRoCOLi receiveth a message from a Republic of Sealand. At first glance, and because we gave no attention, it seemed a message from the current and legitimate of the Principality of Sealand.

After we had word from the real Principality of Sealand sovereign, it turned out to be another attempt to steal the legendary Principality of Sealand from the rightful owner and sovereign.

The self appointed Republic of Sealand is nothing more than a lame try to scam Sealand citizens in order to get their personal data.

Because all of this, the Banana Republic of Can Orlantrix’s Libertarians wants to express its support to Principality of Sealand’s Prince Regent Michael in this hard hour of work, thus issuing our first Shame On You Declaration to that false Republic of Sealand.

A Shame On You, or SHY, Declaration would be the equivalent to declare the state of kinetic military action (also known as “bloody war” to those not having a Nobel Peace Price on their records). As we have no army, nor the willingness to have one, instead of declaring war to a nation, we throw shame to it, so the ashamed nation or country will be feeling bad and dirty.

So, SHAME ON YOU, Republic of Sealand!!

Counter response to the response to or Recognition of the Principality of Butt River

Less than an hour ago, The Banana Republic of Can Orlantrix Libertarians explicitly recognized the Principality of Hutt River, and sent their sovereign a message informing of it and offering our friendship.

The Principality of Butt River’s Royal Hygienics Prince Leonard himself told us to piss off and get lost in response to our message of recognition (obviously not with these words, as he is a Royal Prince and uses Royal Rhetoric). We celebrate this as an another demonstration that real-land-based nations (specially those with a strong state) are just crap.

So, we call for a toast to the Butt River’s Royal Hygienics!! May yer princeship be vast, long live the Prince, Rule Britannia, etc, etc, etc, whatsoever!

Arrrr!!!

Act of Recognition of the Principality of Hutt River

The Banana Republic of Can Orlantrix’s Libertarians hereby officially recognises the Principality of Hutt River and expresses its profound admiration for all the work done by its Government through all these years, and for having served as an inspiration.

Apart from this, a formal letter has been sent to the Principality of Hutt River’s Government asking to establish diplomatic relations between us.

Happy St. Patrick’s

Immersed in the flood alert as we are these days, we almost forgot about St. Patrick’s!!

The BRoCOLi wants to issue a congratulation to all of our beloved Patricks, all around the world. Without them, existence in this world would be… whatever… Let’s get drunk!!!

Flood alert in The BRoCOLi

The BRoCOLi is at risk of flooding. This morning, the washing machine did not functioned properly. After a bit of trying, we programmed a controlled pressure release (or a controlled manual water-dump), pure bailing-out pirate-style, to empty the machine and clean its filters.

After setting up anti-flood measures to prevent the water reaching the fridge and increasing risk of electro-shock, the wet clothes were put on the special container for the occasion (the dryer machine) and the washing machine was correctly emptied and the filters were cleaned.

All seems to work OK now, but flood alert will remain activated until one or two more laundries are completed without problems.

Act of Recognition of Wirtland

The Banana Republic of Can Orlantrix’s Libertarians hereby officially recognises Wirtland.

Apart from this, a formal letter will be sent to Wirtland’s Government asking to establish diplomatic relations.

The BRoCOLi starts a Micro-National Recycling Plan

After experiencing a message from God in the shape of John Malkovich (Malkovich! Malkovich!!) in a Nespresso TV ad, we thought it would be a good thing to please him, in order to avoid his finger rubbing and subsequent Universal Flood 2.0, so We The People (both of us actually) of The BRoCOLi decided to go hands on and devised our own National Recycling Pan. Sorry, Plan. Well, Micro-National Plan to be precise.

And it goes as follows: we prepared a bucket in the kitchen where, in one of its halves, we will throw plastics, envelopes, tin cans, et cetera.
Separately, we will use the free half to host a mix of organic rubbish with other trash not susceptible to be re-processed.

But this National Recycling Plan does not end here, as another empty bag has been arranged, in order to host and store all paper stuff as cardboard, discarded papers, envelopes, physical spam…

May this Micro-National Recycling Plan serves Lord Malkovich Almighty, and prevent us from being wet and cold by the action of his rainy fingers.

We recycle, Malkovich wants it.

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Official Press Release on the celebration of Procrastinator Day

Friends, pirates, sailors, bilge-rats, lend me your ears. We, the Pirate Lady and Lord of the BRoCOLi, would wish you a merry new year, but while preparing the speech, we found this lovely video. So we let the speech for another day.

By the way, happy procrastinator day to you all!

On the attempts from Spain to become a Banana Republic

A humble new flag proposal, featuring Paul the Octopuss as the new King

Last weeks, our neighbour country, the Kingdom of Spain, has been busying itself making attempts in order to reach the status of a Banana Republic.

After the social cuts, including the re-lowering of public workers (I’m not talking about whores, but public servants… well… more or less is the same thing…), came the Sustainable Economy Bill, a presumed sovereign law made from and for The People® of the Kingdom Spain, but now it is known that this law was made from the Department of State of the United States of America. And more on this: the bill will be passed by decree next tuesday, December 21st, circumventing the Spanish Congress (we think that, under the ACTA treaty, circumventing the Congress will be made 100% legal)

And yet more. Just the very day in which the Spanish people knew about the gringo interference in Spanish law-making system, the Government of Spain® decided to declare the state of alert and militarise Spanish airspace in order to prevent a strike from air-controllers. While in ‘alert’, all former civil air-controllers are treated as if they were 100% military personnel.
Yester afternoon, The Spanish Congress approved the extension of such state of alarm until mid January.

We at the Polar (men it’s fuckin’ cold here these days) Banana Republic of Can Orlantrix’s Libertarians can not see with good eyes any of these attempts to subvert the glorious traditions of Banana Republics by the Government of Spain®. It is really disgusting that many of our struggle to be a free Banana Republic are now showed as an “easy as pie” steps-to-be-taken. It takes hard work, you know?

The Banana Republic of Can Orlantrix’s Libertarian, thus, wants to state that we do not have, nor want, anything to do with the bananistic wannabe-ism derive of our neighbour country. Banana Republics have, through history, a well deserved reputation and these attempts are an attack to banalize it.

We at the BRoCOLi state that, instead of a Bananization, the truth is that the Kingdom of Spain is getting through a Zombiefication which is modifying our neighbour country into something very close to Zombieland.

Anyway, here at the BRoCOLi we will take ANY necessary measures to prevent zombies to trespass our borders and defend the Banana Republic centennial and hard-worked culture and our pirate way of life.

You spanish zombies, beware of trespassing our front door. If you do, prepare to be boarded in the most unimaginable way your rotten brain can work.

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